Overcoming Depression! British culture helps!

I remember very vividly the day I arrived in London. I was only seventeen years old and just finished school, ready to start university. It was September 1999 and my only “equipment” for my new chapter in life was 140 pounds as pocket money and a scholarship to study psychology at City University of London. YES, unbelievably enough, I was always a straight A student. Eventhough thinking about it, I had no choice in the matter, as my father never gave me an option. “Straight As or be condemned by the family and leave the house”!

I think is not a secret anymore that I grew up with different kinds of abuse. Neither it would come as a surprise that I have suffered severe depression.  it actually got so severe that during my teenage years I even tried to kill my self.  Unsuccessful yes, but with pretty dramatic consequences; hospitalized in intensive care for more than a week and years on antidepressant medication.

My growing up was not easy.  I grew up under the wings of a well known (where i come from) lefty professor who was always very abusive to his family and especially to me. I still don’t know if it was conscious abuse per se that had such a traumatic influence on me, or if it was his natural application of social pressure to live up to his perfect standards. Nonetheless I really don’t want to go into details of how I grew up, as really all I want to do in this article, is celebrate my overcoming my depression by simply coming to England.

I arrived in England a very insecure young girl, very depressed, on all sorts of antidepressant medication and self harming almost on a daily basis. I remember how much I hated my self, how obsessed I was with me deserving nothing else but abandonment, rejection and death. Quite horrific feelings to live with as you can imagine.

As soon as I got settled at City University campus accommodation, I had to get a job; as my scholarship only covered my tuition and accommodation fees. My first job was at the university cafeteria/bar. This was the job that slowly but steadily started having an impact on reversing my psychological state. I started making friends most of who were British. A miraculous change was happening to me! The person that deserved nothing but rejection and loneliness was actually becoming sociable.

Moreover, my university social life was also taking a dramatic change.  I was becoming one of the very popular students among both students and professors. My fellow students would always invite me at going out gatherings and my professors seemed fairly interested in the Cypriot girl with the extreme progressive ideas around a variety of psychological issues. Yes I was one of those lucky students that all the unpopular university ideas I had (both on my bachelors and masters degree), were met with enthusiasm and not criticism.
All the characteristics my father and the Cypriot culture treated as evil and contempt were all the characteristics British people loved. My open and bubbly character, my daring attitude, my guts to be vocal on things I disagreed, my passion to be a unique individual and not follow any group attitude like a sheep, my multiple tattoos and piercings, my Mediterranean temperament are just some of my characteristics that the Cypriot culture would not tolerate but the British culture would embrace with love.

Cyprus, being a very small island, still very neighborhood and Christian oriented, demanded (20 years ago at least it did)  the girl to be modest, quiet and follow the society norms blindly. For anyone that really knows me, I think it comes as no surprise that it was impossible for me to follow the attitude of a “good” moral Cypriot girl. It was also this attitude exactly that made my father even more abusive towards me, as according to him, I was ruining his “good” reputation and I was an embarrassment to the family's well-known surname.

Having most of the society against me, but mostly having my father constantly beating me up and telling me how he wished I was dead or never born because I embarrass him; made me develop a huge hatred towards my self. This made me really wish I was dead and became a powerful drive for my self harm. All the potentials I had to thrive as an individual were fading away under the shadow of severe depression.

The decision to come to England was made under my wish to escape my life in Cyprus. And, dear me, was the best decision I ever made..!! Why England and not any other European country?  Because Cyprus has a big British population coming over not only for holidays but also to live permanently.  Thus I grew up being very familiar with how amazing British people are.
For once, at the age of seventeen to eighteen years old, I was witnessing people really liking me and jumping at any opportunity to be around me.  For once people, were very vocal and eager to compliment on my Mediterranean looks: “you are so exotic”, “I love your black hair” were only a few of the compliments I would receive in a regular basis.  Who? Me! The person that up until a month before coming to England, believed I was the ugliest woman on earth. “I admire how you always speak your mind”, “I love how open you are with people” were some other comments people would usually make about me.  Again, words that I have never -ever- heard before.

Slowly but very steadily I started seeing my self NOT through the eyes of my father, but through the eyes of British people. Suddenly I began to like mirrors because they were reflecting the figure of a clever, strong, beautiful young woman.  I started adapting to the strong beautiful Annie and rejecting the scared little girl that used to hide to be depressed and to self harm. My father’s voice telling me that I am worth nothing, was going in mute and the voice of all the British people who were surrounding, accepting and praising me was getting louder and louder.

I started realising that I now lived in a society where I can dress as I want to, I can have tattoos and piercings without being judged, where no religion norms were imposed on me and where I could finally live my life without feeling guilty all the time because…I am a mistake of nature and because I simply exist. What for seventeen years seemed impossible it was finally coming true. I was turning into a happy young lady on a mission to give up antidepressants, stop craving for my death and definitely to stop self harming. Really I was feeling very ready to grab the bull by its balls and make something of my -up until recently -pathetic existence.

By no means am I claiming that I woke up one day and I was miraculously healed. Far from that actually. Overcoming depression and all its consequences was a slow but steady procedure. What I am claiming though, is that I would probably still be depressed -if not dead – if I hadn’t come to England.  If British culture and British people hadn’t been so amazingly accepting and understanding, if they hadn’t shared all those British values about embracing people that really want to change, I would definitely not be here today to share my story. 

People ask me why I rarely go back to Cyprus or why am I so loyal to England.  Well folks,  this is exactly why.  Because England and everything English people stand for LITERALLY SAVED MY LIFE. Comparing what Cyprus has offered me and what England has offered me, I’m afraid England outweighs Cyprus by far.  I am ever so grateful to this beautiful country and it's people, that I believe is my duty to promote British values and be proud of this amazing country. There is nobody or nothing on this lifetime that could make me betray my adopted motherland.

Finishing, I would like to say to all English people that might be reading this: Please don’t ever let anyone take away from you all those amazing values that made such a difference to my and so many other people’s lives.  Please, carry your Britishness with pride, because if I can claim to be proud of you guys, you sure as hell should be proud of yourselves. To all the immigrants, foreigners, refugees etc that come to this country: Please open your hearts to British culture because it is one of the most civilised cultures you will ever encounter and you have a lot to learn from it.  To anyone that will try and destroy British culture: Watch out guys because I will be your number one enemy. This is my adopted country... is the most amazing country on the planet. Adapt in it or please go and live elsewhere! PERIOD

Comments

  1. I felt the same when I went to Blighty in '92.
    A few years later the magic wore off and I moved to S.E Asia never to look back.
    These days, even the thought of England (or W.Europe for that matter) sends chills down my spine

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  2. I'm so glad you're happy here. We're getting such a bad press lately after brexit, the world seems to think we're hateful now. The London middle class lefty media are spreading lies

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  3. Im sorry to hear "Comet" feels that greeks are getting negative press,  certainly I havnt seen any,  maybe Comet could link some (non economic) examples? Although I certainly agree that the London middle class lefty media are spreading lies.

    Its upsetting if Brexit has caused an increase in xenophobia. Obviously Brexit hasn't yet happened so I wonder what the cause is? Remoaners are politicising everything & anything possible in order to back their cause. Shamefuly people are being hurt by this but the liberal left don't seem to care about anything other than their political cause.

    I find your story to be uplifting and full of hope. If only more people with similar experience's would speak up that would be the best way to fight racism, xenophobia and bias!

    Well done Annie. Congratulations on both your story and your success. You make me proud to be British and proud to have you in this country!

    Thank you.

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  4. I came close to tears reading this. It is a powerful story of the individual spirit triumphing when all seems to be lost. I suffered from severe depression for different reasons and all you say resonates deeply with me. I admire your strength of character and you make me proud. Proud to be British.

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